Anxiety and stress are interesting.焦虑和压力是有趣的。
They're very related.它们密切相关。
If you look at an iron beam, an iron beam is under stress,如果你看一根铁梁，一根铁梁处于应力之下。
it's because it's being bent in two different那是因为它被向两个不同的方向弯曲
directions at the same time.方向同时。
So when your mind is under stress, it's because it has two conflicting desires at once.所以，当你的大脑处于压力之下时，是因为它同时有两个相互冲突的愿望。
So, for example, you所以，例如，你
want to be liked, but you want to do something selfish, and you can't reconcile the two.想要被人喜欢，但又想做些自私的事情，而且你无法调和这两者。
And so, you are under stress.因此，你处于压力之下。
You want to do something for somebody else.你想为别人做点什么。
You want to do something for yourself.你想为自己做点什么。
You don't want to go to work, but you want to make money.你不想去上班，但你想赚钱。
So, you are under stress.所以，你处于压力之下。
So, you have two conflicting desires,所以，你有两个相互冲突的愿望。
and I think one of the ways to get through stress is to acknowledge that,我认为应对压力的方法之一是承认这一点。
oh, I actually have two conflicting desires,哦，我实际上有两个相互矛盾的愿望。
and either I need to resolve it, I need to pick one, and then要么我需要解决它，我需要选一个。
be okay losing the other,接受失去另一个。
or I will decide later, but at least just being aware of why your stress can或者我稍后再决定，但至少只要意识到你的压力为什么可以
help alleviate a lot of stress.帮助减轻很多压力。
And then anxiety I think is sort of this pervasive,然后，我认为焦虑是一种普遍的、
unidentifiable stress where you're just kind of stressed out all the无法识别的压力，你只是有点紧张，一直
time and you're not even sure why.时间，你甚至不确定为什么。
And you can't even identify the underlying problem.你甚至无法识别根本问题。
And the reason for that is because you have so many其原因是，你有太多
unresolved problems, unresolved stress points that have piled up in未解决的问题、未解决的压力点，它们在你的生活中堆积起来
your life that you can no longer identify what the problems are.你的生活，以至于你再也无法识别出问题是什么。
There's this mountain of garbage有这么一座垃圾山
in your mind, and it's a little bit of it poking out the top like an iceberg, and that's anxiety.在你的脑海里，只有一小部分像冰山一样露出顶端，那就是焦虑。
But underneath, there's a lot of unresolved things.但在表面之下，还有很多未解决的事情。
And so you just need to kind of go through very carefully every time you're anxious.所以每次你感到焦虑时，你只需要仔细地梳理一下。
Like, okay, why am I anxious this time?比如，好吧，这次我为什么焦虑？
I don't know why.我不知道为什么。
Oh, well, let me sit here and just think about it.哦，好吧，让我坐在这里好好想想。
Let me write down what the possible causes could be.让我写下可能的原因是什么。
Let me meditate on it. Let me journal.让我仔细思考一下。让我写写日记。
Let me talk to a therapist.让我和一位治疗师谈谈。
Let me talk to my friends.让我和我的朋友们谈谈。
Let me just kind of see like when does that stress go away?让我看看那种压力什么时候会消失？
If you can kind of identify and unravel and resolve these issues,如果你能识别、解开并解决这些问题。
then I think that helps get rid of anxiety. A那么我认为这有助于消除焦虑。
Lot of the anxiety is piled up because we move through life too quickly,很多焦虑是因为我们生活节奏太快而积累起来的。
not observing our own reactions to没有观察自己对事物的反应。
things. We don't resolve them.我们没有解决它们。
So this goes counter to what I was saying earlier about not reflecting too much on things.所以这与我之前说的不要对事情过度反思相矛盾。
But you reflect on the problems to observe them and solve them.但你反思问题是为了观察并解决它们。
You don't reflect on them to feel better about yourself.你反思它们不是为了自我感觉更好。
Well, if you're doing it to just feel better about yourself, that could be strengthening your personality and your ego嗯，如果你这样做只是为了自我感觉更好，那可能会强化你的个性和自我。
and could be creating a more fragile personality.并且可能正在创造一个更脆弱的个性。
You know, one big anxiety resolve for me is just你知道，对我来说，一个重要的焦虑解决方法就是
room knitting on death.房间里在编织死亡。
I think that's a good one. You're gonna die.我觉得那是个好主意。你会死的。
It's all going to zero.一切都会归零。
You cannot take anything with you.你什么也带不走。
And I know this is tight.我知道这很紧张。
And I know that we don't spend enough time thinking about the big questions.而且我知道我们没有花足够的时间去思考那些大问题。
We kind of give up on them when we're very, very young.我们在非常非常年轻的时候，就有点放弃了它们。
You know, a little child might ask the big questions like, why are we here?你知道，一个小孩子可能会问那些大问题，比如，我们为什么在这里？
What's it being alive?活着是什么感觉？
What is it all about? You know, is there Santa Claus? Is there God?这一切到底是怎么回事？你知道，有圣诞老人吗？有上帝吗？
But then as adults, we're taught not to think about these things.但长大后，我们被教导不要去想这些事情。
We're giving up on them.我们正在放弃它们。
But I think the big questions are the big questions for good reasons. And但我认为这些大问题之所以是大问题，是有充分理由的。
if you can keep the idea in front of you at all times that如果你能时刻将这个想法放在眼前——
you're going to die and that你终将死去。
everything goes literally to zero, what's your distress about?一切真的归零了，你在苦恼什么？
Yeah, for better or worse, life is very short.是的，无论好坏，人生很短暂。
How should people deal with its briefness?人们应该如何处理它的短暂？
make the best of it.充分利用它。
It's even briefer than that. Each moment just disappears. It's gone.它甚至比那还要短暂。每一个瞬间都消失了。它不见了。
There's only a present moment and it's gone instantly.只有一个当下，而且它瞬间就消失了。
So if you're not there for it,所以如果你不在那里感受它。
if you're stressed out or you're anxious or you're thinking about something else, you如果你压力很大，或者焦虑，或者在想着别的事情，你
So any moment when you're not in that moment, you are dead to that moment.所以，任何你不在那个当下的时刻，你对那个当下就是死的。
you might as well be dead because your mind is off doing something else or you know你还不如死了算了，因为你的心思在别处，或者你知道的
living in some imagined生活在某种想象的
reality that is just a very poor substitute for the actual reality.现实里，那只是对真实现实的一个非常糟糕的替代品。
So one of my recent realizations was what is wasted time?所以我最近的领悟之一是：什么是浪费时间？
What is a waste of time?什么是浪费时间？
So I don't like to waste time, but what is wasted time?所以我不喜欢浪费时间，但什么是被浪费的时间呢？
And everything is wasted time and a sense because nothing matters in the ultimate.而一切都是浪费时间，从某种意义上来说，因为最终什么都不重要。
But in each moment, the thing matters.但在每一个当下，这件事很重要。
In each moment, this is the only thing that matters, actually,在每一个当下，这实际上是唯一重要的事情。
what's happening in front of you is literally has all你眼前正在发生的事情实际上拥有所有
the meaning in the world.世界上所有的意义。
So what matters is just being present for the thing.所以重要的是全身心投入当下的事情。
So if you're doing something that you want to do, and you're fully there for it,所以如果你在做你想做的事情，并且你完全投入其中。
then it's not wasted time.那么这就不是浪费时间。
If you don't want to do it, and your mind is running away from it,如果你不想做这件事，你的思绪正在逃离它。
and you're reacting against it, and you're wishing you were somewhere else,并且你在抗拒它，你希望自己身处别处。
and you're thinking about some other thing,并且你在想别的事情。
or you're anticipating some future thing, or regretting或者你在期待未来的某件事，或者在后悔
some past thing, or being fearful of something, Then that's wasted time.某件过去的事，或者害怕某件事，那么那就是浪费时间。
That's time that's being wasted.那是正在被浪费的时间。
When you're not actually present for the reality in front of you.当你实际上并未专注于眼前的现实时。
So my definition of wasted time, yes, I do want some material things in life.所以我对浪费时间的定义是，是的，我确实想要生活中一些物质的东西。
And I, you know, there are things that have more value than others within this life.而且我，你知道，在这一生中有些东西比其他东西更有价值。
But this life is very short and bounded.但这一生非常短暂且有限。
So the true wasted time is a time that you are not present for when所以真正浪费的时间是你不在场的时间，当
you are not there for it.你不在那里。
doing the thing you want to do to the best of a capability such that you're immersed.以最佳能力做你想做的事，以至于你沉浸其中。
And if you're not immersed in this moment, then you're wasting your time.如果你没有沉浸在这一刻，那么你就是在浪费时间。
People get worried about dying and no longer being here,人们担心死亡和不再存在于此。
but they don't realize that so much of their life has但他们没有意识到，他们生命中的大部分时间
been not being here in any case. That's right.反正一直都不在此处。没错。
And I think people crave being here for it.而且我认为人们渴望在此刻存在。
And when you're here for it, you're actually not thinking about yourself.而当你在此刻存在时，你实际上并没有在想自己。
You're more immersed in the thing, the moment, the task at hand.你更沉浸于事物、当下、手头的任务之中。
We don't want peace off mind.我们不想要心灵的平静（错误表达）。
We want peace for our mind. That's right.我们想要心灵的平静。没错。
Yeah, the mind is what killed each you alive if you let it.是的，如果你放任它，头脑就是那个让你生不如死的东西。
And there's more to you than the mind. How so?而且你不仅仅是头脑。怎么会呢？
Well, I mean, it's very, I嗯，我的意思是，这非常，我
don't want to disassemble the body.我不想拆解这个身体。
So speak it right.所以把它说对。
Because please go on. Yeah, at the end of the day, like因为请继续。是的，到头来，就像
everything arises within your consciousness, right?一切都在你的意识中升起，对吧？
You got nowhere else to experience it. Sorry.你没有其他地方可以体验它。抱歉。
You've got nowhere else to experience it.你没有其他地方可以体验它。
And that consciousness is而那种意识是
relatively static in a sense that it's been exactly the same for the moment you were born相对静止的，从某种意义上说，从你出生的那一刻起就一直完全相同
to the moment you die.直到你死去的那一刻。
And everything that you experience from your body, from your mind, to the world, to everything is within that consciousness.你从身体、心灵、世界以及一切事物中所经历的一切，都在那个意识之中。
And that thing, that base layer of being, and this is what the Buddhist will tell you,而那件事，那个存在的基础层面，这就是佛教徒会告诉你的。
is the real thing.才是真实的东西。
Everything that comes and goes in the middle, including your mind, including your body is unreal.中间来来去去的一切，包括你的思想，包括你的身体，都是不真实的。
find stability in those transient things is your castle that you're building on sand that's going to crumble.在那些短暂的事物中寻找稳定，就像你的城堡建在沙子上，终将崩塌。
Life is going to play out the way it's going to play out.生活将会按照它本来的方式展开。
There will be some good and some bad.会有一些好的和一些坏的。
Most of it is actually just up to your interpretation.实际上，大部分都取决于你的解读。
You're born, you have a set of sensory experiences, and then you die.你出生，经历一系列感官体验，然后死去。
How you choose to interpret those experiences is up to you and different people interpret them in different ways.你如何选择解读这些经历取决于你自己，不同的人以不同的方式解读它们。
Yeah, I see a whole line about two people walking down the street.是的，我看到一整行关于两个人走在街上的内容。
They're having the exact same experience.他们正在经历完全相同的体验。
One is, one is happy, one is sad, right?一个，一个开心，一个悲伤，对吧？
It's a narrative in their heads.这是他们脑海中的叙事。
It's how they choose to interpret.这就是他们选择解读的方式。
said that it was a long time ago, I was talking more about having positive interpretations我说那是很久以前的事了，我更多是在谈论拥有积极的解读。
and negative interpretations, but these days I think it's better just not to have any interpretations和消极的解读，但现在我认为最好不要有任何解读。
and to just allow things而只是允许事情发生。
You're still going to have interpretations.你仍然会有各种解读。
You can't stop it.你无法阻止它。
And nor should you try.而且你也不应该去尝试。
But even that having an interpretation is just a thing you can leave alone.但即使拥有一种解读，也只是一件你可以不去理会的事情。
Yeah, I really want to try and just dig in a little more to the是的，我真的很想试着更深入地探究一下
best way to remind people that提醒人们……的最佳方式
they should value that time.他们应该珍惜那段时间。
Just how brief it is that the time that you spend ruminating being distracted fears of the past regrets.时间是多么短暂，你花在沉思、分心、对过去的遗憾感到恐惧上的时间。
Well, I don't want to tell anybody how to live their life.嗯，我不想告诉任何人该如何过自己的生活。
I would just say that to the extent that you want to improve your quality of life,我只想说，就你想要提高生活质量而言。
the easiest and best最简单也是最好的
way to do that is to observe your own mind and your own thoughts and be a little,方法就是观察你自己的内心和想法，并且稍微
not necessarily critical,不一定是批判性的。
but be observing of yourself more objectively.而是更客观地观察自己。
And then you kind of realize your own loops and patterns. It takes time.然后你会逐渐意识到自己的循环和模式。这需要时间。
It's not overnight. It's not instantaneous.这不是一夜之间的事。这不是瞬间就能完成的。
You mean letting go is not a one-time event? Yeah, and there's你的意思是放手不是一次性的事情？是的，而且还有
letting go is not necessarily even the right answer.放手甚至不一定是正确的答案。
if you're trying to be an enlightened being and, you know,如果你试图成为一个开悟的人，而且，你知道。
you want to live like a god and你想像神一样生活。
everything's gonna be perfect and be a Buddha, sure you can let go.一切都会完美，成为一个佛陀，当然你可以放手。
But I think in practice, it's actually quite hard to do.但我认为在实践中，这实际上很难做到。
I think I would say that我想我会说
you're going to find a lot of fulfillment out of life by just doing what你会通过做自己想做的事，从生活中获得很多满足感
you want to do and genuinely exploring what it is that you want你想做的事，并真诚地探索你真正想要的是什么
rather than doing what other people expect you而不是做别人期望你做的事
to do or society expects you to do or what you might just think kids should be done by default.或者社会期望你做的事，或者你可能只是认为孩子应该默认做的事情。
older successful people will tell you that their life was best when they lived unapologetically on their own terms.年长的成功人士会告诉你，当他们毫无歉意地按照自己的方式生活时，他们的人生才是最好的。
Be selfish. Holistic selfish. Exactly. Exactly.要自私。全面的自私。没错。没错。
We can clip that little.我们可以剪掉那一点点。
I'm telling you that that's selfish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.我告诉你那是自私的。是的，是的，是的。
Just keep running it bad guy. Great.继续运行它，坏家伙。太好了。
I had this insight or a question, I guess,我有了这个见解或一个问题，我想。
how much do you think that we should trust the voice in你认为我们应该在多大程度上相信内心的声音？
Because half of wisdom因为一半的智慧
suggests to rely on your sort of bottom up intuition, and then half of it has to建议依赖你那种自下而上的直觉，而另一半则必须
be sort of top down rational as possible.尽可能自上而下地理性思考。
How do you navigate the tension between你如何应对这种紧张关系？
head and gut in this way?以这种方式处理头脑和直觉？
I think the gut is what decides.我认为直觉才是做决定的关键。
The head is kind of what rationalizes it afterwards.头脑只是事后将其合理化。
The gut is the ultimate decision maker.直觉是最终的决策者。
And what is the gut? The gut is refined judgment. It's taste. Aggregated.那么直觉是什么？直觉是精炼的判断。是品味。是积累而成的。
And it could be aggregated through evolution.它可以通过进化积累而成。
and send your genes in your DNA or it could be aggregated through your experiences and what you've thought through.并将你的基因传递到DNA中，或者它可以通过你的经历和你思考过的东西积累而成。
The mind is good at solving new problems大脑擅长解决新问题。
and new problems in the external world that have defined edges, beginnings and ends and objectives.以及外部世界中那些有明确边界、起点、终点和目标的新问题。
what the mind is actually really bad at is making hard decisions.大脑实际上非常不擅长做艰难的决定。
So when you have a hard decision to make,所以当你有一个艰难的决定要做时。
I find it's better to, yes, you ruminate on it, you think我发现最好是，是的，你反复思考它，你仔细考虑
through all the pros and cons, but then you sleep on it,权衡所有的利弊，但然后你睡一觉再做决定。
you wait a couple of days, you wait until你等几天，你等到
the gut answer appears with conviction and it feels right.直觉答案带着确信出现，而且感觉是对的。
And when you're younger, it takes longer because you just don't have as much experience.当你年轻的时候，需要更长时间，因为你没有那么多经验。
And when you're older, it can happen much faster, which is why当你年纪大些时，它可以发生得更快，这就是为什么
you have less time to Yeah, and all people你的时间更少，是的，所有人
are more set in their way as a consequence, right?因此，他们更加固执己见，对吧？
They know what they want.他们知道自己想要什么。
They know what they don't want.他们知道自己不想要什么。
So it takes time to develop your gut instinct and judgment.所以，培养你的直觉和判断力需要时间。
But once you've developed them, don't trust anything else because you can't go against your gut.但一旦你培养了它们，就不要相信其他任何东西，因为你不能违背自己的直觉。
It'll bite you in the end.最终它会反噬你。
Usually in relationships that fail, you can look back and say,通常在失败的感情中，你可以回顾并说。
I knew it was going to fail because我知道它会失败。
of this reason, but I kind of went ahead anyway because I wanted it to be this way, right?因为这个原因，但我还是有点继续下去了，因为我想让它这样，对吧？
I wanted this person.我想要这个人。
to be a different way than they are.以不同于他们本来的方式存在。
I wanted to get a different thing out of it than I knew I was going to get,我想从中得到一些我知道我得不到的东西。
So sometimes desire will override your judgment and then track you.所以有时候欲望会凌驾于你的判断之上，然后影响你。
I wishful thinking it traps you into a pathway that just chooses time.我的一厢情愿的想法会把你困在一条只选择时间的道路上。
As you get older, one thing that becomes harder to ignore is your testosterone levels.随着年龄增长，有一件事变得越来越难以忽视，那就是你的睾酮水平。
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