So about six months ago, I am still in high school this point, sitting in class.大约六个月前，我那时还在上高中，正坐在教室里。
And somehow the conversation turns to me.不知怎么的，话题就转到了我身上。
The teacher starts talking about me in my videos.老师开始谈论我和我的视频。
And a girl from across the class, she yells out to me教室另一边的一个女孩，她对我大喊。
and she asks me, Jack,她问我，杰克。
advice for my face going red?关于我脸红有什么建议吗？
And I know she's taken the piss because我知道她在嘲笑我。
Her friends are laughing, she's laughing, and everyone knows this is one of她的朋友们在笑，她也在笑，而且每个人都知道这是我最大的
my biggest insecurities because I can't control it.不安全感之一，因为我无法控制它。
My face just goes red when I get extremely anxious and I'm an extremely anxious person that I当我极度焦虑时，我的脸就会变红，而且我是一个极度焦虑的人，以至于
always have been since I was 10, 11 years old.从10岁、11岁起就一直是这样。
So what do I do in that situation?那么在这种情况下我该怎么办呢？
I meant to be the dude who makes these types of videos.我本应是那个制作这类视频的家伙。
I meant to be the strong dude, but I wasn't known in that situation.我本应是那个坚强的家伙，但在那种情况下我并不为人所知。
I just booked out the window and said nothing, because my anxiety took over.我只是望着窗外，什么也没说，因为我的焦虑占据了上风。
So I remember getting home that night.所以我记得那天晚上回到家。
and logging onto me computer and asking chatGPT,然后登录我的电脑，问ChatGPT。
what is the best thing I could have done in a situation like在这种情况下，我本可以做的最好的事情是什么？
this? How can I learn from it?我如何从中学习？
But because it gave me such a good response, because chatGPT is like a self-confirmation bias,但因为它给了我如此好的回应，因为ChatGPT就像一个自我确认偏见。
I started asking it more我开始问它更多
and more and more in deeper questions.并且越来越多地提出更深层次的问题。
Questions you should probably ask in therapy or some shit.那些你可能应该在心理治疗或类似场合问的问题。
I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I'm sure someone can relate to me我不知道，也许只是我这样，但我肯定有人能理解我。
out there with that.在外面和那个一起。
So because I'm expressing these emotions that have been bolted up for a while,所以，因为我正在表达这些被压抑了一段时间的情绪。
that feeling, that crave for intimacy is那种感觉，那种对亲密的渴望是
It's like all my emotions have been able to find an intimacy就好像我所有的情绪都能找到一种亲密感
that the sexual desires, the strongest desire in the body, it makes sense.性欲望，作为身体中最强烈的欲望，这是有道理的。
And coincidentally, at this time I had a video go pretty viral.巧合的是，在这个时候我有一个视频变得相当火爆。
There was targeted for males and females.这个视频是针对男性和女性的。
So, I think 13 million females saw that video.所以，我认为有1300万女性看了那个视频。
So I had a lot of females on Instagram, DM me.所以我在Instagram上有很多女性给我发私信。
I've never gotten this before.我以前从未得到过这个。
I've never got this influx of female attention ever in my life.我这辈子从未有过这么多女性关注。
So it takes me over.所以它控制了我。
There's plenty of very attractive women who reached out.有很多非常有魅力的女性主动联系。
And lust took over again. And I relapsed.欲望再次占据上风。我又复发了。
I think like every day for a week.我想大概是一周里每天都这样。
Not to pornographic because I don't watch that anymore, but just still.不是色情内容，因为我不再看那个了，但只是仍然。
I think I shouldn't have done.我想我不应该那样做。
And to combat this shame and guilt,为了对抗这种羞耻感和内疚感。
because it was heavy feelings of shame and guilt,因为那是沉重的羞耻感和内疚感。
it was, it was heavy.它很重，它很重。
I start talking to these girls more.我开始更多地和这些女孩聊天。
I start romanticising your future about them, because I'm a very romantic upper person.我开始浪漫化关于她们的未来，因为我是一个非常浪漫的上层人士。
That's just who I am.这就是我。
I start imagining futures with girls who I'm not, who I know我开始想象与那些我不是的、我认识的女孩的未来。
aren't for me. Because I was desperate. I was.不适合我。因为我当时很绝望。我确实很绝望。
I'd never really gotten this feeling before. Ever.我以前从未真正有过这种感觉。从来没有。
It was something really new and exciting to me.这对我来说是全新且令人兴奋的事情。
But I knew at the back of my mind, the majority of these girls I was talking to但我在内心深处知道，我正在聊天的这些女孩中的大多数
They weren't actually interested in me.他们其实对我并不感兴趣。
I wasn't actually interested in them.我其实对他们并不感兴趣。
It was more of a loss instead of love.那更多是一种失落，而不是爱。
I was just desperate.我当时只是绝望了。
And that is disrespectful to myself.那是对我自己的不尊重。
And that is disrespectful to the I do a woman who I genuinely admire. And I knew that.那对我真心钦佩的一位女性是不尊重的。我知道这一点。
It was just clouded by lust at that time.那时它只是被欲望蒙蔽了。
So I made that video.所以我制作了那个视频。
I fell back into lust again, boys, which is pretty popular as nearly like a million views, nearly.我又陷入了欲望之中，伙计们，这视频相当受欢迎，差不多有近百万的观看量。
Which is crazy for something like that.对于那样的事情来说，这真是疯狂。
I got out of the rut.我摆脱了困境。
I locked in, exams were coming up, so I我集中精力，考试快到了，所以我
really needed to. And I graduated high school.真的需要这样做。然后我高中毕业了。
And I couldn't wait to get out.我迫不及待地想离开。
Yeah, to experience, find my people, connect with people who, you是的，去体验，找到志同道合的人，与那些你……的人建立联系
know, I can, I can emotionally relate to.我知道，我能，我能在情感上产生共鸣。
But I fell back into the rut again.但我又陷入了老一套。
Because all I was doing was, like, and the only time I'd go outside was to make a video.因为我所做的一切就是，嗯，我唯一出门的时候就是去拍视频。
I'd just be inside, like reading, I我就待在室内，比如看书，我
would train at home, I would plan videos at home.会在家训练，我会在家规划视频。
That's all I do.这就是我所做的一切。
So that, Feeling for love came up again. I craved it.所以，对爱的感觉又出现了。我渴望它。
Again, just like I did around six months ago. Heavy.又一次，就像大约六个月前那样。沉重。
Oh, every single human craves love.哦，每一个人类都渴望爱。
Every single one of them.他们中的每一个。
And they always do, because it's human nature, we can't combat the feeling.而且他们总是这样，因为这是人性，我们无法抗拒这种感觉。
Everyone craves it, so I accepted it.每个人都渴望它，所以我接受了它。
Now I accepted to myself that love is a beautiful thing.现在我对自己承认，爱是一件美好的事情。
Always will be, it just depends on how you respond to it.它将永远如此，只是取决于你如何回应它。
And I think I responded to it in a good way. I accepted it.而且我认为我以一种好的方式回应了它。我接受了它。
It is so normal to crave love.渴望爱是非常正常的。
You know, if you're watching this video, you've probably been single your whole life.你知道，如果你正在看这个视频，你可能一辈子都是单身。
And you're not alone.而且你并不孤单。
There are so many people because of social media and shit.因为社交媒体之类的东西，有太多人了。
There are so many people in your position, 100%. I am.处于你这种处境的人非常多，百分之百。我就是。
I had a girlfriend at 12 years old.我12岁的时候有过一个女朋友。
I don't count that. I've never had a girlfriend.我不把那算作数。我从来没有过女朋友。
I'm not ashamed to admit that. I'm 19, I'm still a young man.我不羞于承认这一点。我19岁，我还是个年轻人。
Like why are you in such a rush?比如你为什么这么着急？
You are still so young.你还这么年轻。
And I speak to myself, I'm speaking to myself here, but I'm speaking to you as well.我在对自己说，我是在对自己说，但同时也是在对你说。
This is literally the worst version of yourself that there will ever be.这真的是你未来最糟糕的版本了。
You are only going to get better and better and better and better.你只会变得越来越好，越来越好，越来越好。
Now I'm assuming that you get better every day.现在我假设你每天都在进步。
I'm not telling you this because you want to hear, I'm telling you this because you need to hear.我告诉你这些不是因为你想听，而是因为你需要听。
Just like you were when you were a kid, all you wanted to be was an adult.就像你小时候一样，你只想成为一个成年人。
But when you became an adult, you realized the problem was becoming an adult.但当你成为成年人后，你意识到问题就是成为成年人本身。
And then when you became an adult,然后当你成为成年人时。
all you could think about was the pleasures of being a kid because you你所能想到的只是当孩子的快乐，因为你
forgot about the problems of being a kid, even though as a kid,忘记了作为孩子的问题，尽管作为孩子时
all you thought about was the problems of你所想的全是关于……的问题
And see, exactly the same with Singapore, especially as a young man, but that's probably the same for women.你看，新加坡的情况完全一样，尤其是作为一个年轻人，但可能对女性来说也是如此。
That's all you think about as a negative.那就是你作为负面因素所考虑的一切。
And it's not like when you do get with someone.而且这不像当你真的和某人在一起时那样。
You're not going to enjoy it, and all you want to be is a kid again.你不会享受它，而你只想再次成为一个孩子。
All you want to be single again, no, probably not.你只想再次单身，不，可能不会。
Assuming it's a person that you are genuinely compatible with.假设这是一个你真正合得来的人。
But you, maybe I'm coping, but I really don't think I am.但是你，也许我在应对，但我真的不认为我在应对。
I am going to regret if I don't do this.如果我不这样做，我会后悔的。
I am going to regret not spending single life to its fullest.我会后悔没有把单身生活过得最充实。
110% because there's benefits to that. So I'm going, how's it going?百分之百，因为那有好处。所以我要去，最近怎么样？
Oh shit, I didn't recognize you. Fuck it out. No.哦，该死，我没认出你。算了。不。
It's a good view though, so I'm like, fuck it, I'll get a video.不过景色不错，所以我就想，管他呢，我拍个视频。
But um, how you guys going?但是嗯，你们过得怎么样？
But as I was saying, I just came across a couple of mates from school.但正如我刚才说的，我刚好碰到了几个学校的哥们儿。
Enjoy this shit. Enjoy it, Bart.享受这破玩意儿吧。享受它，巴特。
Fall in love with the process of becoming爱上成长的过程。
the man that attracts your idol.那个吸引你偶像的男人。
Fall in love with it.爱上它。
Because you will miss it one day, 100%, there will be parts of it that you miss.因为总有一天你会想念它，百分之百，会有一些部分让你怀念。
Put some respect on yourself, Bart.尊重你自己，巴特。
Respect your time, respect your energy.尊重你的时间，尊重你的精力。
Transmute that feeling into what you know is best.将那种感觉转化为你所知道的最好的东西。
Don't act out of desperation.不要出于绝望而行动。
Choose a girl because you cannot, because you need to. I hope you enjoyed this video.选择一个女孩，是因为你不能，是因为你需要。我希望你喜欢这个视频。
I kind of lost me flow there, but I hope it's valuable.我有点失去了我的节奏，但我希望它有价值。
I don't know. Much love, bro.我不知道。很多爱，兄弟。
And I'll catch you in the next one. Thanks.下次再见。谢谢。